Dear Sweetheart,

The FIFA World Cup begins on the 14th of June and ends on 15th July.

During this period I won’t have a lot of time for you. It’s not that I’m cheating or no longer wish to be with you, but I will have to make every effort to watch every single match.

Consequently, I will not be attending any social events such as, weddings, funerals, parties etc. during this period so please *DO NOT ASK!!!.*

I know you see a soccer match as only 22 men chasing a ball but it’s absolutely imperative that you keep such thoughts to yourself and do not express them during this period….

Here are a few guidelines (I won’t call them rules although you know they are) to ensure a smooth and argument free month:

1. Don’t say it’s just a game because it’s not!

2. Please limit or avoid talking during matches

3. The remote control remains with me at all times. In the unlikely event of me leaving the room during the match, my trustworthy pit bull terrier, BOSSO will be guarding it.

4. You support the team I support. Not the team that has guys you think are cute

5. Kindly place your phone on silent

6. *Never, ever walk in front of the TV while I am watching a match!*

7. The World Cup is played by countries only so please don’t ask me which team is Arsenal

8. Finally, the highlights are considered just as important as the match itself so yes I must watch the highlights as well!!

Thanks in advance, we look forward to your cooperation and your utter silence.

Sincerely yours,


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